Maniac’s Mountain: The Wood Stove

PPNC is pleased to introduce a new “culture” column, Maniac’s Mountain. It is written by the award-winning columnist Mark Jamison of Jackson County, and features many of the characters that populate his rural life. That would include humans as well as animals, though PPNC Exclusive columns feature the fearless foursome of Maniac, Otis the three-legged dog, Mellow the feline, and Spooky Cat. We think you’ll love this quartet tremendously. And for the record, most of the Maniac columns arrive in the wee hours by email. They are kept as true-to-email-form as possible.

 

Wood Stove Do’s and Don’ts: Part I

Do not set your vacuum cleaner on fire while cleaning up ash. Vacuum cleaners are flammable (who knew), especially the bag full of dust and other stuff.

This safety tip is brought to you by Maniac Home Services

 

Wood Stove Do’s and Don’t: Part II

Otis has become very wary about fire, justifiably so given his experience with the great dog food conflagration and other assorted missteps.

As I was scurrying about trying to save the vacuum cleaner (I did) Otis looked at Mellow with a very concerned, “Do we need to evacuate.” sort of look. Mellow rolled over in her sunbeam, looked at me and then turned back towards Otis and clearly said, “Dumbfuck.” as she rolled her eyes towards me. Otis was like, “Oh OK, not deadly – just stupid (again was added sotto voce)”

In the corner Spooky Cat sat rubbing his paws together mumbling, “Fire, heh, heh, heh, come forth my pretty demons.”

Who needs a television when you have a Maniac for entertainment?

 

This column written exclusively for Maniac’s Mountain by Mark Jamison. Parental guidance may be advisable.

 

 

Share
  • Mission

    PoliticallyPurpleNC examines -- from a nonpartisan angle -- the legislative decisions of the North Carolina General Assembly and their potential effects on the citizens of the state. It does so in a setting that includes context -- historical background and social implications. PPNC encourages rational, nonpartisan evaluation and advocacy for the good of the whole.
  • April 2018
    M T W T F S S
    « Mar    
     1
    2345678
    9101112131415
    16171819202122
    23242526272829
    30